Relationships

3 Reasons Why The Civil Rights Movement is Important to the Classrooms of Today The Civil Rights Movement honors the moments and courage of the past. But if this is where you leave the conversation, you’re missing something. You’re emphasizing denial. Denial of the goals of the past. Denial of the truth of the present. Denial of the dream still to be fulfilled. As an educator, you have a front row seat to the consequences of this denial. What you might not have is an understanding of what the Civil Rights Movement means for you in your context. Here are 3 reasons it’s important and what it can mean for you and the students in your classroom. When conversations of the Civil Rights Movement are focused only on the past, something vital is missing. Societal challenges faced by students don’t stay outside of the classroom. Research highlights the role that societal events and relational trauma have in affecting student learning. Circumstances such as police violence and the actions of agencies like ICE that separate families can result in outcomes like disrupted attachment, student withdrawal, survivor’s guilt, difficulty in forming bonds, hypervigilance, and feelings of powerlessness. Click here to open a new tab and access a 2023 article from The New York Times that presents information about the effects police violence has on the lives of the mental health of black people. Click here to open a new tab and access an article from the North Carolina Justice Center that explores the ACEs of ICE. Even students who aren’t directly exposed to these sorts of traumas have friends within the classroom who do. Because of this, it’s difficult to separate societal challenges from your role as a teacher. It could be argued that the classroom and the partnerships that exist there between yourself as an educator, the parents of students, the school staff, and the students themselves mean that the classroom is uniquely equipped to be the space where this conversation happens. The history of the Civil Rights Movement highlights the importance of student agency. Feelings of powerlessness can be countered by the recognition and exercise of agency, something that students in general may not realize that they have. Agency is defined as the sense of control over actions and what happens as a result of those actions. In other words, to understand one’s agency, one must know that they can take action and that what results can be reasonably approximated based on that action they’ve chosen to take. When societal challenges arise or systems appear to be out of sync with the principles one would expect, this sense of agency is disrupted. This is in addition to the lack of the realization of agency practiced by younger students for whom so much of their world is curated around the beliefs and lifestyles of parents and other authority figures in their lives. One way to facilitate the building of a sense of agency in students is through social entrepreneurship. Click here to open a new tab and learn how social entrepreneurship and partnership can be gamechangers in the process of building childhood agency. The Civil Rights Movement itself can be another source to help students recognize their sense of agency. Movements like the Nonviolent Coordinating Committee highlight this reality, even in the face of the struggles faced. You, as an educator, have the ability to bring to mind history and how students have made a difference, so that even students who feel powerless know that their powerlessness is a reminder that there is injustice in the world and that they can, from their position as students, take meaningful action to join with voices from history to promote change. Partnering with parents and communities will be vital. Reminding yourself of history will remind you of what’s possible. You’ve decided to be a teacher because of your passion for students and for learning. It’s this care for your students that can cause their challenges to take a toll on you as well. However, depending on your context, you may feel as though you don’t have the necessary support you need as you work to meet the needs of both the social and emotional sphere that comes into frame when trauma enters the classroom and the academic and educational objective sphere. Community can help you to meet the needs of both spheres. Learning more about the Civil Rights Movement and the actions taken by others to help meet community needs can help you to explore ways you can make your classroom a safe space for struggling students. Discover more about how the Civil Rights Movement can help you in your work in your community and your educational context when you purchase this recording of the Christian Courage and the Civil Rights Movement Webinar, led by Victor Vieth, JD, MA. Click here to open a new tab and place your order. Looking for more information about Victor Vieth, JD, MA? Visit this link to discover more about Victor and the upcoming Christian Courage and the Civil Rights Movement Webinar. Discover More About Victor Why is it important for you, as an educator of today, learn from the Civil Rights Movement? Conversations about the Civil Rights Movement that take place today often honor the courage and moments of the past. However, they also tend toward leaving behind what this means for change and reform in the world today. As an educator, your honoring the journey and facilitating student agency helps students who may otherwise feel powerless to find their voice even in the middle of challenges that can seem overwhelming.  How can societal challenges affect your students? Experiencing challenges like police violence and actions of agencies like ICE that separate families can result in outcomes like disrupted attachment, student withdrawal, survivor’s guilt, difficulty in forming bonds, hypervigilance, and feelings of powerlessness. The social and emotional aspects of the student experience are just as much factors in achieving student success in meeting and exceeding learning outcomes

The Journey to Reconciliation and Reengagement Reconciliation starts with the needs for both safety and for relationships to be made whole. In this episode of The Ruth and Scott Podcast, Ruth Jefferson and Dr. Scott Gostchock talk about reconciliation, what’s needed to achieve this in relationships, and how burnout can affect this. Can relationships be made whole? Join Ruth and Scott for the conversation.  Listen Now! What causes burnout? How can it be overcome? When alignment is missing, this greatly contributes to burnout. This lack of alignment can be defined as operating outside of your passions or in areas you don’t believe in. The reality with any job is that there will be times when you need to function outside of these areas of alignment. The challenge of burnout in these scenarios can be overcome by changing up the story about your operation in these spaces. This mindset shift starts with your being able to view your professional life through the lens of your missional purpose. Understanding these areas of alignment and approaching your role from this perspective of passion decreases burnout. Want to learn more about the stages of burnout and more specific mindset shifts that can help you on your journey to escaping the cycle of burnout? Click this link to open the article 12 Mindset Shifts to Help You Overcome the Symptoms of Burnout in a new tab.  What is reconciliation? Why does it matter? Reconciliation is just as much about you as it is the other person. Engaging in the reconciliatory process starts with your being honest with yourself about yourself and answering these two questions: What do you need to feel safe in the space of the relationship? What do you feel like you need in order for the relationship to be made whole? Reconciliation requires vulnerability-based trust. Vulnerability-based trust is defined as the feeling that both you and the other party in the relationship can be honest with each other without fear that honesty will lead to being attacked. Reconciliation is a fully engaging process that requires full presence and commitment.  How can you help someone who is struggling with their sense of value? As an educator and mentor, you play a unique role in helping those you work with to understand and build their sense of value and agency. One strategy for doing this is embracing the TAB Philosophy. TAB stands for Talent, Ability, Blessing. This approach helps each person understand that they have a unique talent, something that they can do as well or even better than anyone else, and that they have the ability to turn that talent into a blessing for others.  When alignment is missing, this greatly contributes to burnout. This lack of alignment can be defined as operating outside of your passions or in areas you don’t believe in. The reality with any job is that there will be times when you need to function outside of these areas of alignment. The challenge of burnout in these scenarios can be overcome by changing up the story about your operation in these spaces. This mindset shift starts with your being able to view your professional life through the lens of your missional purpose. Understanding these areas of alignment and approaching your role from this perspective of passion decreases burnout. Want to learn more about the stages of burnout and more specific mindset shifts that can help you on your journey to escaping the cycle of burnout? Click this link to open the article 12 Mindset Shifts to Help You Overcome the Symptoms of Burnout in a new tab.  Reconciliation is just as much about you as it is the other person. Engaging in the reconciliatory process starts with your being honest with yourself about yourself and answering these two questions: What do you need to feel safe in the space of the relationship? What do you feel like you need in order for the relationship to be made whole? Reconciliation requires vulnerability-based trust. Vulnerability-based trust is defined as the feeling that both you and the other party in the relationship can be honest with each other without fear that honesty will lead to being attacked. Reconciliation is a fully engaging process that requires full presence and commitment.  As an educator and mentor, you play a unique role in helping those you work with to understand and build their sense of value and agency. One strategy for doing this is embracing the TAB Philosophy. TAB stands for Talent, Ability, Blessing. This approach helps each person understand that they have a unique talent, something that they can do as well or even better than anyone else, and that they have the ability to turn that talent into a blessing for others.  Like what you’re hearing? The Ruth and Scott Podcast Blog provides reads that dive more into the topics covered in the podcast and more. Be the first to know when new articles drop and get access to subscriber-exclusive content like the new Read This in 5 audio series when you join our mailing list. Click the button below and complete the form to subscribe today. Subscribe to the Newsletter

3 Relationship Communication Problems Quietly Destroying Trust One of the biggest challenges to relationships is that of communication. A failure to communicate can result in relationship breakdown. When you choose not to communicate, whether in a more personal relationship or in the kind of human-to-human relationship present in an educational environment, secrecy takes hold, doubt is given the cover it needs to grow, and things stay unsaid that really shouldn’t. Here are 3 specific relationship communication problems that can kill trust in a relationship: At the root of every communication breakdown is a fear of authenticity. 1. Practicing False Humility Humility is a posture of the heart. Unfortunately, there might be a time when you care so much about a person or a relationship that you practice false humility. When you have a concern like that, you might choose to keep quiet and not talk about things that should be talked about. Instead of using silence, you can take a step back to take a step forward. Take a day to reflect on the challenge, identify what upsets or concerns you, pray about your feelings, and ask for the words to say when you do talk to the person you’re in conflict with. This might even be a good time to journal about your thoughts and feelings. Take this day also to reach out to this person and schedule a time to talk. Tell them about how long the conversation could take so that they can prepare for the time commitment and give you a day and time that works for this conversation. True humility means coming from a place of love and not a place of fear. 2. A Lack of Self-Exploration Another silent relationship killer is not taking time for self-exploration. As an educator, you can become so wrapped up in work and in the investments you make in others that you can forget to invest in yourself. When you don’t do this, when you don’t take this time, it can lead to burnout. Once you reach that point, it can become painful to invest in others. One way you can keep the burnout from happening is to take time to invest in yourself. Take one day per week to take care of yourself and engage in a self-care routine. If you’re not yet at the place where you can take a full day. Start by taking an hour per day for that to be your focus. Notice the difference that taking this time can make for your life. 3. Talking About Nothing Time is an investment. Your sharing who you are is an investment. But when you’re in either a personal or professional relationship, and you enter a phase of talking about nothing, you might find yourself drawing toward disengagement. The reason for that is that there’s a barrier that’s coming up in your relationship that forces you away from authenticity. It also means that the other person involved in the relationship isn’t engaging authentically either. Identity is a key part of what is shared in these more authentic relationships. In professional relationships, this will happen much more indirectly and happen more through the authentic way you complete tasks and the way that your personality shines through in professional conversations. In personal relationships, this happens more through direct disclosure and more deeply as relationships continue to unfold. Join our email list today to go deeper in conversation about topics that matter like communication, relationships, mentorship, parenting, and so much more. Join Now How can educators protect their relationships from communication breakdown? Preventing communication breakdown requires commitment from both parties, because conflict is difficult and messy even when both parties have the best of intentions. It also requires self-knowledge, understanding when something crosses a boundary or triggers you emotionally, so you can communicate this. In an educational environment, this looks different because of the power difference between educator and student. It’s important to communicate to students that their words and thoughts are valid and valued, to have feedback loops in place, and to model respectful discourse. Seeing that modeled will reinforce healthy and holistic conflict-handling practices for them as well. Looking for some words and phrases to help you model this? Here are 3 words and phrases that will help you do exactly that.  What are the most common communication problems in relationships? A failure to communicate can result in relationship breakdown. When you choose not to communicate, secrecy takes hold, doubt is given the cover it needs to grow, and things stay unsaid that really shouldn’t. Three specific habits that contribute to this are practicing false humility, not taking time for self-exploration, and not optimizing times of communication and connection. How does false humility hurt relationships? False humility is brought into relationships when you care so much about a person or a relationship that you choose to keep quiet and not talk about things that should be talked about. Instead of coming from a place of love, actions start to come from a place of fear. When you practice false humility, things stay unsaid that really shouldn’t, and silence gives doubt the cover it needs to grow. How does burnout affect an educator’s personal and professional relationships? As an educator, you can become so wrapped up in work and in the investments you make in others that you can forget to invest in yourself. When you don’t take this time, it can lead to burnout. Once you reach that point, it can become painful to invest in others. Why does talking about surface-level things hurt a relationship? When you enter a phase of talking about nothing, you might find yourself drawing toward disengagement. The reason for that is that there’s a barrier that’s coming up in your relationship that forces you away from authenticity. It also means that the other person involved in the relationship isn’t engaging authentically either.  One thing we’re definitely not doing on The Ruth and Scott Podcast is having shallow conversations. Listen